This week on Planet Woke, hitherto indetectable racist Danny Baker became bored of being gainfully employed, and of not being hounded as a vicious bigot to his dying day, and decided that the birth of the royal baby would be an opportune moment to spring out of the closet in a white pointy hat declaring his hatred of all things insufficiently Aryan. Read the rest of this entry »
Category Archives: Free Speech
The list of things that could persuade me to take a fine springtime Monday off of work, is about the size of the yellow pages and crammed full of trivialities. The list of things that could persuade me to willingly spend that same work-free and temperate Monday navigating Southern Rail’s incompetent shitshow to travel into the bustling, crowded heart of our country’s capital, is virtually non-existent. It’d need to be something I view as essential or otherwise impossibly tempting. Something like a protest against the governmental erosion of our most important fundamental principle, maybe. Or beer. Beer will do it too.
Raging narcissist and professional irritant Milo Yiannopoulos appeared on Real Time with Bill Maher last week and was repeatedly told to go fuck himself (a request that I suspect Milo has earnestly attempted to overcome the logistics of, from time to time.) This overtly hostile reaction from both Maher and his other guests naturally resulted in catchy headlines such as; Milo Yiannopoulos found a bromance with Bill Maher, and Dean Obeidallah’s roll-off-the-tongue effort; Bill Maher’s shameful mainstreaming of Yiannopoulos’ hate. Read the rest of this entry »
A few weeks ago the BBC broadcast a comedy skit satirising the western women who abscond to Syria and Iraq to live under the caliphate. Filmed in the style of one of those insufferable reality TV shows about entitled, narcissistic, Sex-and-the-City types who have kids called ‘Porsche’ and tedious shoe obsessions; the Real Housewives of ISIS poked fun at the clash between western culture and the 7th century theocracy of the Islamic State.
The 2 minute clip spoofed cloaked women fretting over what to wear to a public beheading, suicide vest fashion parades, jihadist Instagram hashtags, ISIS emoticons, etcetera etcetera.
Another day, another episode of what Christopher Hitchens once described as “theocratic encroachment on free society”. This time it’s Olympic medallist and Strictly Come Dancing winner Louis Smith MBE who’s been thrown on the pyre – or more accurately – banned for 2 months from British Gymnastics after a video he recorded of his inebriated friend taking the piss out of the Islamic prayer ritual got snared by The Sun and circulated around the internet.
Being that I don’t care too much for gymnastics, nor do I occupy my time watching inexplicably popular ballroom dancing competitions, I only had a vague idea who Louis Smith was until the video of him and his mate drunkenly Allahu Akbar’ing appeared on my radar. Naturally I warmed to him in an instant. Read the rest of this entry »
DISCLAIMER – I’m going to be quite sweary and generally pretty coarse in this article. Why? Because I can. And because it’s fun. Yep fun – you remember that don’t you? It’s pretty fucking important if you want to make it through life without opening your wrists up on a gloomy Monday.
One of my favourite TV moments of all time was in 1976 when the Sex Pistols appeared on the Bill Grundy show and bollocked the patronising old duffer for leering over their female companions. Back in ’76, someone being called a “dirty bastard” and a “fucking rotter” on tea-time telly was enough to end careers. Nowadays the BBC would probably have to broadcast Johnny Rotten ferociously sodomizing Grundy’s corpse with a whaling harpoon to elicit anything more than a handful of complaints. Read the rest of this entry »
In 2010 a Pakistani Christian Woman named Asia Bibi was involved in a verbal altercation with some Muslim women who objected to her drinking water from the same mug as them on the grounds that her religion rendered her “unclean”. She reportedly reacted to this bigotry by making a mildly derogatory remark about the Prophet of Islam and was promptly reported to the Pakistani authorities for blasphemy, whereby she was found guilty and sentenced to death by hanging. A petition was filed against Bibi’s execution by a leading Pakistani politician named Salmaan Taseer, who also criticised his country’s noxious and archaic blasphemy laws. As a retaliation to this presumably offensive display of progressivism, one of Mr Taseer’s own bodyguards – Mumtaz Qadri – shot him to death with an AK-47, a crime for which Qadri was eventually hanged this week.
The Islamic Republic of Pakistan. You’ve gotta love it. Read the rest of this entry »